Beware: Potty Training Twins

17 02 2019

Bath Time

I am going to share a few stories that my girls will probably hate me for when they get older, but that I would hate myself if I didn’t take the time to memorialize these moments in something other than frantic whatsapp chats with my girlfriends and family.   These are the moments my girls will cringe at when they are brought up at family gatherings but ones they will completely understand and sympathize with when they have children of their own.

These are the stories that I think (I hope) all parents of toddlers have.  Although, I have to admit, when I shared these stories with my other mama friends, they laughed hysterically and also told me this was their greatest fear (and they have boys!) …..so I’m thinking this may not always be the case.

At this point I have probably tempted you with intrigue, but I warn you that these stories are kind of gross, deal with ‘potty’ humour, and once you hear these stories (and picture them) they can’t be unheard or unseen!!

So let’s get on with it!  My first story features Brooklyn.  She is the first born, extremely stubborn and willful but lives life freely and loves passionately.  And one of the things she loves is dates!  Those super sweet things that no one really eats on their own but use for recipes (or wrap in bacon).

One morning, after a very tough night with her where she was wired and awake until 10pm (2 – 2.5 hrs past her regular bedtime) and awake again at 3AM.  When 7am rolled around, I went into their room to get them ready for the day, Brooklyn was babbling and standing at the rail of her crib.  She keeps saying ‘date date date‘.  The room is dark and as I get closer to her, she is holding something in her hand.  It looks like a date.  And I’m so confused but I think, ‘maybe one got stuck to her blanket when it was downstairs and she just found it?’.  So I put out my hand and she places the ‘date’ in my hand.  <I think you can see where this is going>  It isn’t a date at all!  It’s a piece of poop!!!

So I take the ‘date’ to flush it down the toilet, grab Brooklyn out of her crib and go wash her hands and change her dirty diaper.  I ask her, ‘Did you taste the date?’  She nods.  ‘Did it taste bad?’  She nods.  Geesh kid.  After a tough night, this is what you start the morning with???

At this point, Lucy is up and starting to fuss, so I pick Lucy up and get her on the potty.  Then Brooklyn comes over to me and says, ‘date date date’, she hands me another ‘date’!!!!  OMG!  Brooklyn where are these coming from!!!  So I turn the lights on full blast and go inspect her bed and blankets – where there is a little nest of ‘dates’.  

Oh Brooklyn….this story will live with you forever!  

___________________________________________________________

My second story is one that I feel only twin parents can truly understand…or parents that have two kids that they are potty training at the same time!

Brooklyn and Lucy are just over 2 years old (26ish months) so we are just starting to dive into potty training.  Grandma bought them little toddler sized toilet potties – which they love to push around the floor more than they love to sit on and use them for what they are intended for.

We are winding down for the night, and they are having a little bit of naked dance party time where they dance naked to Baby SharkUptown Funk, and their favourite Moana songs.  So they are running around naked and have pushed their potties around the room, when Brooklyn runs into the bathroom and sits on one of the potties.  Good Girl!  She’s gone poop in one of the little potties (a learning process but the part I was not looking forward to when we starting training with the little potties).  So I’m praising her efforts and cleaning up the potty and when I hear ‘uh oh uh oh uh oh’.  I look around the corner and Lucy has peed all over the floor….right next to her potty!  So I go to clean her and the mess up when she starts to try to walk away and slips and falls…. in her own pee!!  Covered.  At this point I call out for Nathan – I’m pretty sure he’s outside taking the trash out, but I call anyway.  I need backup for 2 naked toddlers, one covered in pee and pee all over the floor!  No answer.  I’m on my own.

So I get Lucy cleaned up, start cleaning up the floor when Brooklyn pushes her potty from the bathroom to where I’m cleaning up the pee on the floor.  Then she sits down on the potty to go pee.  Good Girl!  But now I have to keep them off of the pee floor and go and help wipe Brooklyn before she dribbles pee all over the floor.   Brooklyn is quick about her business and just as I’m about to reach her to dry Brooklyn and deal with the pee in the potty, Lucy says ‘what’s that?’ and dips her hand in Brooklyn’s pee!!!  Oh man!!

So I get the potty cleaned up, get the floor cleaned up, get the girls cleaned up.  What feels like forever has really only been 10 minutes of naked potty craziness.

And then Nathan walks down the stairs (from upstairs, from our room, where he was the whole time!!)  Are you serious????!!!!!!

(side note: don’t be too mad, because Nathan was taking a shower and did not hear me calling for him, or the craziness, and I didn’t hear the shower because our dance music was turned up pretty loud)

I don’t think I would have ever imagined that these would be stories I would be telling anyone.  Not because I wouldn’t want to share these stories when they happen, but does anyone ever think that this actually happens in something other than a sitcom?

Toddlers are crazy.  I promise my next post will be more glamorous than this…..

 

 

 

 

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