Road Blocks

7 10 2012

There have been many times when I’ve had an idea for a blog post.  After a trip, I have gotten a sudden wave of inspiration of this funny tale to tell about, for example, how I got trapped inside a San Franciscan public restroom as water came flooding into the little oblong capsule and as I kicked and yelled to try to get out, I felt like I was in some sort of Hunger Games booby-trapped room.  (This made me realize that I may have read the Hunger Games Trilogy one too many times). 

 

But once it came down to sitting down to write this funny little anecdote, I couldn’t do it.  The story never really came together on the page, and it sounded so much funnier in my head.  But it was definitely a story that I wanted to tell, and because I couldn’t figure out how to tell it, and because I am somewhat anal about wanting to tell stories in order of when they happened, I was stuck.  Since that horrifying experience thinking that I was trapped in a bathroom at Twin Peaks, I have gone to Napa and driven through wine country, I’ve taken a gondola ride up Crystal Mountain and seen crystal clear views of Mount Rainier, I’ve explored Pike’s Market and bought fresh seafood, taken water taxis and watched sea lions frolic, and seen the sun rise over the Ferry Building and Bay Bridge.  A lot has happened since those 90 seconds of bathroom terror.  But still, I haven’t been able to move forward since I couldn’t get past this one insignificant, but embarrassing moment in time.

Castella Di Amorosa

Up Close and Personal to my Friend Vino

Mt. Rainier View from Crystal Mountain

Mt. Rainier

Seattle Skyline

Early Morning at the Bay Bridge

This reminds me of when I was young.  Maybe 13 or 14 and I decided to try my hand at drawing.  Both my sister and brother are artistically gifted, and I on the other hand, always willed my hands to be able to create some masterpiece when I put pencil to paper, but it never felt like anything came of it.  But on this day, I decided I was going to use some sketch paper and one of those artist’s pencils and I was going to make a teddy bear be my subject. 

I drew feathery strokes on the paper.  Tried to do a little shading to create depth.  And I really wanted to capture that perfect glint in my teddy bear’s eye.  When I finished my drawing, I was so impressed with myself.  I patted myself on the back and showed it off to everyone.  I truly felt like I had overcome some sort of obstacle and that I did have some sort of artistic gene in my body.  But even though there is the saying that ‘practice makes perfect’ and that every talent needs to be continually worked on and practiced to evolve and improve, I decided that there was no way that I could draw any better than that.  I had peaked.  And anything that I drew after that point would surely not meet up to my now high expectations of myself.  So, that was it.  That was the last drawing that I drew…never allowing myself to improve or fail.

I don’t really know what all that says about me, (maybe I’m a control freak?), but during the last few months of my writing absence where I’ve felt like I couldn’t produce the quality of writing that I expected of myself, I realized today that I love writing too much just to stop because I haven’t been able to tell a story the way that I wanted to.  Perhaps one of these days I’ll be able to perfect my San Franciscan bathroom story, but for now at least, I won’t let not being able to tell that story prevent me from moving forward.

On to new adventures and life lessons….

Moving On…

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5 responses

7 10 2012
Alice

Glad you are back in your writers chair.

8 10 2012
racheldeangelis

I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes it can be tricky to find the right words.

14 10 2012
tracilee

So true – crazy how some posts can just roll of the tongue, and others stop before they start. Thanks Rachel

8 10 2012
Lissa Rabon

What a wonderful metaphor for life! Since “writer’s block” is not an actual “thing” but just a way of thinking…you decided to think differently and viola! You are back with pen in hand. Good for you. May all of your roadblocks be overcome by just a shift in thinking. Glad you are back.

14 10 2012
tracilee

Thanks for the support Lissa!

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